South Africa’s Silent War: GBV Hurts All

(The Post News)- Our country, South Africa, faces a big and painful problem: gender-based violence (GBV). It is a shadow over our cities and towns, in every part of our land. GBV breaks homes and hurts countless people. While we often hear, and rightly so, about how women and girls suffer the most, a quieter pain is hidden for men and boys. This is often because of old ideas about how men should act. This is not just about numbers; it is about real people. It is about a mother’s deep fear, a son’s silent sadness, and a national wound that stops us from truly healing and becoming strong. GBV in South Africa is a crisis that affects everyone.

The numbers for violence against women in South Africa are very sad and shocking. Our country has some of the highest rates of violence against women in the world. According to national studies, over one in three South African women (33.1%) aged 18 and older have faced physical violence in their life. For women currently in relationships, official numbers show that one in five has experienced physical violence from her partner. This is not just physical harm; it is about control, constant fear, and the slow breaking down of safety at home. The killing of women by their intimate partners, called femicide, is a terrible truth. A study showed that three women were murdered by an intimate partner every single day between 2020 and 2021. These are not just numbers; these are mothers, sisters, and friends whose lives were ended too soon by someone they knew. Reports of sexual crimes are chilling; almost 53,500 sexual crimes, including 42,780 rapes, were told to the police between April 2022 and March 2023. Most victims are women and girls, often hurt by someone they know, leaving deep wounds that may never heal. Beyond physical pain, many women face economic violence. They depend on the person who hurts them for a home or food for their children. This makes it very hard to leave, trapping them and taking away their freedom.

So, with so much violence, why do many women in South Africa stay quiet? The reasons are complex and deeply sad, but they make sense for someone living in fear. The biggest and most terrifying reason is fear of more harm. Women worry that telling someone will make the violence worse, or that their children might be hurt. Even with many public campaigns, victims often feel ashamed. Society sometimes blames the victim, making them feel “damaged.” Families might pressure a woman to stay quiet to protect the family’s honour. For many, leaving means losing everything; without money or a job, they are trapped. When a woman is brave enough to report, the police or courts can cause more pain, a “secondary victimization.” Police might not listen, doctors might not care, and court cases are long and hard. This often makes women give up, feeling that justice is not possible. Sometimes, the community itself tells victims to be quiet, seeing GBV as a “private family matter.” Pressure to go back to the abuser, especially if he is important in the community, leaves victims feeling alone.

But South Africa also has a hidden problem: men and boys are victims of GBV. Their pain is often not seen. This is because of old ideas about how men should be and a big fear of being judged. The common idea that “men must be strong” creates a hard rule. For a man to say he is a victim, especially if a woman hurt him, feels like a big failure. This leads to a strong fear of being shamed or laughed at. Men worry people will see them as weak or less of a man. This fear makes them suffer in silence. Also, there are not many places or services just for men who are victims of GBV. Special shelters or help are rare nationwide. This systemic gap means many men do not know where to go for help, making them feel invisible. Men also feel deep shame and guilt, believing they should have stopped the abuse themselves. Like women, men sometimes fear that telling someone will lead to more harm. They also often feel that the police or courts will not take their claims seriously, or that they will be seen as the attacker, not the victim.

For boys in South Africa, the problems are also very hard, often teaching them to stay quiet from a young age. Boys face physical, emotional, and sexual abuse, leaving deep scars that can last their whole lives. The harmful idea that “boys will be boys” can make violence seem normal and teaches boys not to show feelings. This makes it very hard for them to speak about abuse without feeling weak. Young boys may also lack a full understanding of what abuse is, or that they have a right to be safe. They might also be afraid of adults or the police, so they stay silent. When boys learn that real men don’t show pain, it becomes very hard for them to ask for help when they are hurt.

When men and boys cannot report or get help, the harmful effects of GBV get worse. Their lives are deeply affected, and it creates more problems for all of South Africa. They can suffer physical pain and long-term health issues. The constant abuse leads to serious mental problems like deep sadness, worry, and stress. Because men feel they must be strong, they often hide these feelings, hurting their self-worth. Trauma can also cause other physical problems, impacting a man’s body and mind. Sadly, the deep shame, feeling alone, and lack of help can make men think about ending their lives. In some terrible cases, unaddressed GBV against men can even lead to murder. Studies show that many men killed by women in South Africa were killed by their partners. This silent suffering often leads to divorces and broken families, passing pain down through generations.

But there is hope for South Africa. Many dedicated people and groups across the country are working hard to stop GBV for everyone. To truly stop violence, we must help all victims and change the people who cause harm. South Africa has a big national plan called the National Strategic Plan on Gender-Based Violence and Femicide (NSP GBVF), approved in 2020 and strengthened by a new law in May 2024. This plan aims to make South Africa free from GBV and helps all who are hurt. Groups like Sonke Gender Justice are leading the way in challenging harmful ideas. Their One Man Can (OMC) Campaign asks men to be part of the solution. They teach men to say no to violence and to treat everyone equally through workshops and community talks all over the country. Research shows men in OMC programs become more equal in their thinking and more active in their homes. Sonke’s Prevention program also helps men and women work together to stop violence before it happens. Other groups like Raising Voices also share good ways to stop violence in communities. These programs show that real change means teaching, helping, and giving people the power to build a future free from violence.

The fight against GBV in South Africa is not just for women, or just for men. It is for all of us. It touches every part of our country. To truly heal and make our nation safer, we must listen to everyone. We must believe and support all who are hurt, no matter their gender or background. No one’s pain should be ignored. We must change old ideas about how men and women should act. Let’s teach our sons that showing feelings is strong, and our daughters that they are worth a lot. We need more safe places and help for all victims across South Africa. This means more help for men, too. We must also make those who cause harm answer for their actions, and our justice system must help victims, not hurt them more. Every person can help. Do not be quiet when you see wrong. Speak out. Support groups in your area. Your voice and your actions can make a real difference. GBV has left deep wounds in South Africa. But with care, understanding, and working together, we can start to heal. We can build a future where every person, no matter their gender, can live freely, without fear, with dignity and respect. It’s not about using big words; it’s about caring for each other and working together for a safer South Africa.